Share the Experience
Just as this is a time of monumental change for your student, so is it for you. Whether students live at home and commute or move into the residence hall or an apartment, a college student has started a new and exciting path.
You will probably both experience the same mixture of excitement and anxiety as the first days of college approach. All of these feelings are a normal part of the growth process as the relationship transitions to a more mature one. Your student is growing as a person.
Tips on Maintaining Your Growing Relationship
- Understand that college students have considerable autonomy on campus and are treated as adults and held accountable as adults
- Be flexible and express clearly what you are unwilling to compromise
- Avoid asking to speak with your student's professor and instead encourage your student to do so should the need arise
- Listen to your student's point-of-view respectfully, as an adult
Stay in Touch
Caring for the day-to-day needs of your student can seem to suddenly vanish, particularly if he or she will be living on-campus. You may be anxious that you will never see or hear from him or her, and may wonder what he or she is up to. Keeping communication open with your student will help both of you as you become more of a coach and your student begins to take on more responsibility.
Keeping in Touch Without Driving Your Student Crazy
- Make a regular routine of contacting your student (calls, emails, letters, care packages), but not every day
- Plan a visit to campus
- Be interested in your student's activities, but don't "interrogate" him or her
- When your student calls with a problem, don't immediately jump into the solver or rescuer role - listen carefully and coach your student on possible solutions
- Be patient, prepared and stay calm - recognize and anticipate that your student may be homesick, have difficulty getting along with a roommate, feel lonely or alone - keeping your cool will help your student adjust
Be Involved
GGC offers parents and families an opportunity to be involved with campus life through the Parents Council. The Parents Council consists of individuals going through the same experience as you - letting go. You will find support and a sense of continued connection to your student's life through campus activities, service opportunities and meetings. The Parents Council is open to all GGC parents and families.
Other Resources
Below is a list of books about the parent transition experience when a student goes to college. GGC does not specifically endorse any of these books; they are provided as a helpful resource for parents.
Almost Grown: Launching your Child from High School to College by Patricia Pasick
Bringing Home the Laundry: Effective Parenting for College and Beyond
Don’t Tell Me What to Do, Just Send Money: The Essential Parenting Guide to the College Years by Helen E. Johnson and Christine Schelhas-Miller
Empty Nest... Full Heart: The Journey from Home to College by Andrea Van Steenhouse, Ph.D.
Letting Go: A Parents' Guide to Understanding the College Years, 4th Ed. by Karen Levin Coburn
You’re on Your Own (but I’m here if you need me): Mentoring Your Child During the College Years by Marjorie Savage
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